The Parent Trap

by Genjourist Divi Gupta

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Just out of curiosity, I would urge my readers to recall moments when your family has made you feel bad about your weight/your interests/your friends/your taste in music etc. I’m sure many of you could; and when such is the case, how can we not be afraid to aim for the stars or soar high?

The constant criticism by adults about our generation’s decisions makes us feel like we don’t really have their support. It is the sole reason why children feel like they can’t share what’s going on their mind with their parents.

Parents need to understand that marks are not everything and if they are failing, there’s a legitimate reason for it. Parents need to know that what they call a rebellious phase is actually our understanding of the society and realization that we don’t deserve to be treated like shit. They need to realize that their kid could be feeling alone and suicidal while they are literally sitting in the next room.

Yes, I understand that parents don’t nag their children because they enjoy doing so; it’s because they know better than them and have “seen the world”. But sometimes we don’t need someone to dictate what’s best for us, sometimes we need someone to have our back while we use trial and error to find what’s best for us ourselves.

Parents blame gadgets for us not talking to them or spending quality time with the family, but what they don’t realize that when we do interact with them, they judge and make fun of us and the things we have to say. They make us feel like we’re not good enough. They say things like “you’re not even trying” but we know, we know how hard we try to be perfect for them, how hard we try not to be a disappointment, how hard we try to achieve as much as the neighbour’s kid, or how hard we try to give them something to boast about in front of their friends.

Our teachers at school are doing their job teaching us math, science, and geography but it’s our family’s job to teach us self-love, self-esteem, and self-confidence. But with all this criticism, how can we ever inculcate those traits? Especially when the way a parent speaks to their child becomes his/her inner voice.

A child can fly as long as his parents make him believe he has wings. They shouldn’t be the ones to hold his feet to the ground, but the ones to nudge him off the cliff.

So dear parents, if your son thinks of you as one of his idiot friends, you’ve succeeded as a Dad and if your daughter thinks of you as one of her soul sisters, you’ve succeeded as a Mom. All you need to do is aim to claim these roles in your child’s life.

“Never be afraid to reach for the stars; because even if you fall, you’ll always be wearing a parent-chute.” -Phil Dunphy, Modern Family

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